the secret life of Lance Manion https://t.co/Ki1IlMKIdf (1 week ago)

“A man’s subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.”

P. G. Wodehouse

featured news

May
23

cover for the new book

Very enthusiastic about the cover for the new book. The artwork is from James Flaxman. Check out his other amazing stuff here. The book is on hold for awhile.

latest news&updates

Jul
19

soul patch

Hours before the gig he had finally shaved off that stupid soul patch he had been sporting. He had tried for a Tom Waits vibe but he ended up looking like a douchy Dave Mathews. The black porkpie hat hadn’t helped at all. He leaned into the mic and as much whispered as sang “remembering […]

Jul
18

good hands

I guess you can measure a day by how many times circumstances provoke you into thinking something that you hadn’t planned on thinking about. Like watching an insurance commercial that offers you the assurance that you’re in ‘good hands’ promptly followed by someone in the next advertisement offering up an observation, just as earnestly mind […]

Jul
17

the hidden dangers of jazz band

I’m in the mood to tell a true story. Well, as truthful as memory can be. I wish I could sell it as a cautionary tale or even vaguely inspiring but the terrible truth about true stories is that usually they are neither. Just people being people, living out and reinforcing every cliché that has […]

Jul
16

his wife likes to talk

His wife likes to talk. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. She likes to talk in the same way that a drowning man would like a breath of air. Neither the audience or topic are of particular importance as long as she is the one doing the talking. Her ears are there only to pick up […]

Jul
15

sex and flying saucers

When people would ask Carl what he did to get locked up he always said the same thing; “Got caught”. He never told anyone the truth, afraid that it wouldn’t be as exciting as what they had conjured up in their heads upon hearing he was a convict. Sometimes he could see it in their […]

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Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs

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Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

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