I've finally made a breakthrough and will be able to patent my rocking chair that only rocks forward. (2 days ago)

“A man’s subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.”

P. G. Wodehouse

featured news

Feb
22

“99 Problems” as it appears in Section 8 Magazine

section8

Please check out my story “99 problems but morality ain’t one” on the Section 8 Magazine site. A very cool zine with a great attitude towards publishing. If only every zine took “support the scene” approach like these guys do! Check it out here.

latest news&updates

Apr
18

empty spaces

Let’s talk about empty spaces shall we? As a side note, whenever I read something where there writer says things like “Shall we?” I want to punch them right in their pretentious mouth so if you’ll give me a minute I would like to punch myself in the mouth. Done and done. Not sure what […]

Apr
17

the comedy lesson

So you want to make people laugh do you? Well before you go galloping off trying, I’d like to review a few things, otherwise you might hurt yourself or someone close to you. You’re not trying to kill someone are you? Are you? I didn’t think so. First of all let’s discuss profanity. You see […]

Apr
16

cool story bro

We invent people all the time. Jerry sat in the Barnes & Noble doing it right at that moment. The girl who had given him the mochachino that he’d asked for but had meant the hot variety instead of the iced beverage but was too embarrassed to correct her for fear that he used the […]

Apr
15

the resentful road

Sometimes I feel like part of a road. Not in the sense of being free and able to travel anywhere I want but literally like a one foot by one foot square piece of cement, stuck forever  in the same spot. That’s the irony of feeling like that, you can romanticize the road all you […]

Apr
14

what are the odds?

I saw the title of the article and I couldn’t click on it fast enough. I’m always the first person to start bleating about how the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math so when I saw a list of 15 things more likely to happen than picking the winning numbers […]

The Song Between Her Legs

The Song Between Her Legs

Publication date: September 2014
Category: Humor

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The Trembling Fist

The Trembling Fist

Publication date: November 2013
Category: Humor

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Homo Sayswhaticus

Homo Sayswhaticus

Publication date: May 2013
Category: Humor

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The Ball Washer

The Ball Washer

Publication date: October 2012
Category: Humor

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Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs

Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs

Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

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Merciful Flush: The Lance Manion Blogs

Merciful Flush: The Lance Manion Blogs

Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

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