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Mar
14

bees and other UAVs

It made life simpler. Order something online, a waffle maker for instance, and have it delivered to your door without having to leave the house. Life definitely got easier for consumers.

Using drone technology companies were able to deliver the products to people’s homes without having to send out drivers. Just send out the drone and have it drop it off at their door. Life got much easier for companies.

Criminals figured out how to program their drones to follow delivery drones to people’s houses and then, when the other drone had departed, swoop down and steal the package. Life got easier for criminals.

Police, seeing the rise in such crimes, created their own fleet of drones to follow criminal drones back to their hideouts and then arrest them without having to stake out the houses. Life got easier for cops.

Sick of having their packages stolen, people began to order two or three packages at the same time in the hopes of at least one of them making it through. They have waffles to make after all.

Companies saw a huge spike in sales, returns and insurance claims. Soon they were forced to increase the number of drones in the fleet to keep up. They have the interest of their shareholders to look after.

Criminals were then forced to increase the number of drones in their fleet. They have mouths to feed like everyone else.

In response cops were forced to increase the number of drones in their fleet. They have decent, law-abiding citizens to protect.

Soon the skies were buzzing with drones. Clouds of them, busy as bees. With a  24/7 soundtrack. Step outside and all you heard were mosquitoes on steroids. They drowned out the birds.

Consumers, angry at the change in their great outdoors, began to lurk behind doors and shrubs and then, when a criminal drone descended to steal their package, they would spring out with baseball bats and take out their frustrations on the intruder.

Criminals, sick of seeing their precious investments being destroyed, began to arm their drones.

In an effort to protect their valued clients, companies began to send armed escort drones along with the delivery drones, in an effort to destroy the criminal drones before they could launch their attacks on homeowners. They also began to sell drones that were programmed to protect their shipments that their customers could purchase for the low low price of $170. Eventually most homes had two or three of these drones circling their property 24/7.

Criminals, seeing their revenue stream in danger, took additional counter measures.

Cops, seeing the carnage going on in their neighborhoods, upped their game and started to employ even more lethal drones. They felt impelled to keep the upper hand.

Soon the skies were buzzing with even more drones. Swarms of them, busy as bees. With a  24/7 soundtrack of drones and their armaments. Step outside and all you heard were mosquitoes on steroids, small arms fire and various other munitions. Windows occasionally rattled and smoke wafted across lawns.

For the longest time we thought that bees were deaf. They are not. They detect sound frequencies up to about 500 Hertz.

The drones, which are male, are the ones that do no work for the colony but can fertilize the queen. The females do the work. They have a hive to take care of after all.

The flight tone of female mosquitoes is about 400 Hertz, and males have hearing that is tuned selectively to the frequency range of about 400 Hertz. Not a coincidence. They have mating to do.

And in Gary, Indiana, Karen Apida steps out onto her porch and is pleased to see that her waffle maker has finally arrived.

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