a thinly-veiled commentary on transgender fatigue

(originally posted 2/5/2021)

The gates fly open and the sound of hoofs on dirt is deafening. The clanging of the metal doors being thrown open and the roar of the crowd is exhilarating. Nine magnificent animals bursting out onto the track in a cloud of dust and quickly accelerating to upwards of fifty miles an hour.

Well, eight of them anyway. The ninth is Gregory T. Stallion. Gregory identifies as a horse. On his shoulders sits a mortified jockey.

Some twenty six seconds later the other horses have all crossed the finish line. Some two and half minutes later, despite the frantic whipping of his jockey, Gregory finally makes it across.

In a basement in Brooklyn, Carl Shamo is having better luck. Carl identifies as a chicken and has spent the last three months making the rounds on the underground cockfighting circuit.

He remains undefeated.

Meanwhile on the grounds of the Iowa State Fair, despite a large number of attendees, nobody is trying to throw small rings onto the top of milk bottles. The carny in charge of the stall sits absentmindedly reading a magazine. He knows nobody will want to spend two dollars for five attempts. They’d be too worried they’d actually win.

Behind him, floating in an enormous glass tank, is Cam Ranchu. He identifies as a goldfish and recently won his court battle to allow him to be a prize at the ring toss booth. He is, of course, like all of the other goldfish on the nearby shelves, completely nude.

Recently a camera crew from the local TV station asked the carny how he feeds Cam. “At the end of the day I throw in a few hot dogs, churros and a handful or two of nacho chips.”

“Do you have to watch out how much you feed him?” asked the intrepid reporter.

“No” answered the carnival worker.

“But isn’t it true that goldfish will eat until they die?”

“Yes” replied the worker, “But he’s not a goldfish. He’s a crazy person.”

As they spoke a woman and her small child walked past the tank. “Look mommy!” exclaimed the child, tugging at her mother’s hand, “That naked man is swimming in his own poop!”

The mother took a look and debated whether to say “That poor man” or “That’s disgusting”, but decided to stay silent on the topic and instead pulled her daughter away from the booth.

Like you would do.

Like you’re going to do.

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My question is, how does this call for violence against a group of people? These dipshits will do anything to silence any opinion that goes against the ‘woke’ PC herd. Fuck Reddit. Just pathetic. I feel like I’m living in Bizzaro World.