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Jul
16

American Math vs. Pi

How did this never occur to me before? All of Euclidean math is proved beyond a doubt to be a fraud I never catch it until now??

We are told that Pi defined as the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.

Bullshit!

Pi is an irrational number. You’re telling me that the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter never ends or repeats? That can’t be right. If I draw a circle I can measure everything within it. It can be quantified and every calculation captured in ‘rational’, good old American numbers. Don’t try to sit here with a straight face and tell me that some transcendental mathematical constant can do that.

Pi is a scam. The mathematicians were just too lazy to figure out the answer so they sold us all this boatload of crap about not being able to actually give us the area of a circle. I mean, I expect that from a dinosaur like Archimedes or even some 18th century barbarian like Johann Heinrich Lambert but come on. We were inventing cars and phones and rockets and the best people like Ivan Niven and Mary Cartwright could do is explain to the public that as much as we’d like Pi to be constructible they simply don’t want to put in the time & energy to figure out how to square the circle?

Do I have to do everything myself?!

Fuck Yasumasa Kanada and his Brent-Salamin algorithm. Keep your 64-node supercomputers and its 1 terabyte of memory as well. I might as well be rejoicing about extracting individual hexadecimal digits by calculating preceding ones using some lame Bailey-Borwein-Plouffe formula. It’s all the same shit baby.

Failure.

My math, AMERICAN math, doesn’t have room for irrational numbers.

I’m going to go draw a circle in the dirt with a stick and measure how much area it has. Real numbers demand real solutions. American solutions.

Now… time to get off this computer and kick it old school with a 2 pencil, some paper and the soundtrack to Mythodea in the background. I might even whip out my abacus. That’s how I roll.

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