The studio decided it was time to make a Bond film that nobody would have any interest in seeing. The trend of maki… https://t.co/pWgOGQsLjp (21 hours ago)

“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.”

Goethe

the books

neXt

Publication date: April 2019
Category: Humor

neXt
$10.70
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Free
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What You Don’t Understand

Publication date: November 2015
Category: Humor

What You Don’t Understand
$9.99
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Free
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The Song Between Her Legs

Publication date: September 2014
Category: Humor

The Song Between Her Legs
$9.99
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Free
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The Ball Washer

Publication date: October 2012
Category: Humor

The Ball Washer
$9.99
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Free
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Homo Sayswhaticus

Publication date: May 2013
Category: Humor

Homo Sayswhaticus
$9.99
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Free
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The Trembling Fist

Publication date: November 2013
Category: Humor

The Trembling Fist
$9.99
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$2.99
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Merciful Flush: The Lance Manion Blogs

Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

Merciful Flush: The Lance Manion Blogs
$9.99
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Free
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Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs

Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs
$9.95
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$3.95
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Random reviews

  • “Okay let me first say if you are a person with no sense of humor and you are easily offended this is clearly not the book for you.  I however, have a sense of humor and enjoyed the ride that Lance Manion took me on in this book! His writing style was unique and I must say I had a lot of fun reading this book. I felt as though I was in his head (where he clearly suffers from ADHD) and I almost peed my pants a couple of times. Keep on doing what you do Mr. Manion.  I am giving this book 4 stars for creativity and originality and well just being all around twisted and fun!”

  • “If I have one complaint about the new book from Lance Manion it’s that Merciful Flush pretends to be a book of bathroom humor instead of reveling in what it might be… the most interesting collection of short stories I’ve ever read.”

  • “On the other hand, Ball Washer is incredibly well-written and cerebral for all its baseness. The contrast is rather fantastic. Lance takes the very graphic and often embarrassing parts of life and opens them wide for all to see. That is a kind of bravery in writing that not many authors can claim.”

Random quotes

  • *   I always look at the human body as pretty easy to cut up. Just snip at all the joints; ankles and wrists and elbows.

    *   Memories are like scars on your brain.

    *   I might as well be rejoicing about extracting individual hexadecimal digits by calculating preceding ones using some lame Bailey-Borwein-Plouffe formula.

    *   Words have always been a problem. This need to fill a conversation the same way you’d overstuff a piece of luggage for a short trip.

    *   All I know is I like the image of a man sitting in a grocery store cradling a bottle of detergent.

  • *   If you want to be happy find a girl that is a balloon shaped like a kite.

    *   Listen, you may think you’re the shit with your silk being stronger than steel of the same thickness and all but you don’t know dick about the weather.

    *   Sometimes at night I lay there and imagine my face with no skin on it.

    *   I swim with the same finesse that most people drown.

    *     Eternity is every second you spend in fear.