I like any story that can be taken so many ways. https://t.co/62fZiXhaZl (2 days ago)

“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.”

Goethe

the books

What You Don’t Understand

Publication date: November 2015
Category: Humor

What You Don’t Understand
$9.99
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Free
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The Song Between Her Legs

Publication date: September 2014
Category: Humor

The Song Between Her Legs
$9.99
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Free
ebook download
 

The Ball Washer

Publication date: October 2012
Category: Humor

The Ball Washer
$9.99
paperback buy
Free
ebook download
 

Homo Sayswhaticus

Publication date: May 2013
Category: Humor

Homo Sayswhaticus
$9.99
paperback buy
Free
ebook download
 

The Trembling Fist

Publication date: November 2013
Category: Humor

The Trembling Fist
$9.99
paperback buy
$2.99
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Merciful Flush: The Lance Manion Blogs

Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

Merciful Flush: The Lance Manion Blogs
$9.99
paperback buy
Free
ebook download
 

Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs

Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs
$9.95
paperback buy
$3.95
ebook buy
 

Random reviews

  • “It isn’t often that I pick up a book and feel that it’s so wrong and yet so right. The stories all have a certain amount of quirkiness and snark that makes them fun to read. My rating for this book is a 4 out of 5.”

    Full review here

  • “On the other hand, Ball Washer is incredibly well-written and cerebral for all its baseness. The contrast is rather fantastic. Lance takes the very graphic and often embarrassing parts of life and opens them wide for all to see. That is a kind of bravery in writing that not many authors can claim.”

  • Each small story that makes up the book is filled with dark satirical humor, and the stories in Merciful Flush are morbidly addicting.

Random quotes

  • *   If you want to be happy find a girl that is a balloon shaped like a kite.

    *   Listen, you may think you’re the shit with your silk being stronger than steel of the same thickness and all but you don’t know dick about the weather.

    *   Sometimes at night I lay there and imagine my face with no skin on it.

    *   I swim with the same finesse that most people drown.

    *     Eternity is every second you spend in fear.

  • *   I always look at the human body as pretty easy to cut up. Just snip at all the joints; ankles and wrists and elbows.

    *   Memories are like scars on your brain.

    *   I might as well be rejoicing about extracting individual hexadecimal digits by calculating preceding ones using some lame Bailey-Borwein-Plouffe formula.

    *   Words have always been a problem. This need to fill a conversation the same way you’d overstuff a piece of luggage for a short trip.

    *   All I know is I like the image of a man sitting in a grocery store cradling a bottle of detergent.