ChatGPT – Write a story between 700 and 1000 words, funny and odd in the style of Douglas Adams

*I’ve been nervous about seeing what all the fuss about ChatGPT and other AI writing programs was all about, so I entered the following prompt and less a second later the following was hurled forth. I don’t find it particularly funny or well written, but the truth is it isn’t any worse than the crap I write. The time of Lance Manion might be drawing to a close…

In a universe not entirely dissimilar to our own, where the laws of logic occasionally took lunch breaks and the improbable was a mere stepping stone away from the impossible, there existed a peculiar planet known as Zyxel-9. On this particular day, Zyxel-9 was hosting its annual Intergalactic Cosplay Contest, an event where beings from across the cosmos gathered to showcase their most outrageous and imaginative disguises.

Among the contestants was Zork, a diminutive creature from the distant swampy moon of Froog. Zork was a dedicated enthusiast of human culture and had decided to go all-in on his interpretation of a “typical Earthling.” Armed with an oversized fedora, neon orange pants that seemed to defy gravity, and an assortment of blinking LED accessories, Zork confidently strutted onto the stage.

The judging panel consisted of three sentient beings: a gelatinous blob named Glarb, who had an unfortunate tendency to ooze when excited; a humanoid robot named X5-42, whose programming included a subroutine for appreciating puns; and a rather perplexed Earthling named Dave, who had been abducted and pressed into service because he once won a Halloween costume contest back on his home planet.

As Zork attempted to explain the intricate details of his costume (which included a convoluted backstory about being an undercover agent from the Earth’s fashion police force), Glarb’s excitement bubbled over, causing a small splash in the front row. X5-42 beeped appreciatively at the ingenuity of the LED belt buckle, while Dave scratched his head, trying to figure out if this was what humans looked like in some bizarre alternate reality.

Next up was Glix, a three-eyed creature from the Gamma Quadrant, who had decided to dress as a sentient mop. This involved wrapping itself in a tangle of blue and green fibers, complete with a mop bucket on one tentacle. The crowd murmured in confusion, unsure if this was a statement on the state of custodial work in the galaxy or simply a very committed fashion faux pas.

As the contest continued, the costumes grew increasingly more eccentric. There was a sentient cloud of glitter, a talking shrubbery that claimed to be the long-lost cousin of a famous terran shrub, and even a being made entirely out of socks (which explained why there were so many odd socks mysteriously disappearing from laundry rooms across the universe).

Amidst the chaos, a rumor began circulating among the contestants about a mysterious figure known only as The Elusive Spectaculo, a being so adept at disguise that no one had ever actually seen them. Legends whispered that The Elusive Spectaculo had once entered the contest disguised as one of the judges and had almost won the grand prize.

Just as the judges were about to announce the winner, a hush fell over the audience. From the shadows emerged a figure cloaked in a shimmering cloak that seemed to shift colors with every blink of an eye. The Elusive Spectaculo had returned!

The judges exchanged nervous glances, unsure how to handle this unexpected turn of events. Glarb started to tremble, threatening to leak a gelatinous trail of excitement across the stage. X5-42 began calculating the probability of a tiebreaker scenario involving an interdimensional pun-off. Dave, ever the skeptic, squinted suspiciously at the shimmering figure, wondering if it was all just a clever trick involving holograms and smoke machines.

In a surprising twist, The Elusive Spectaculo dramatically threw off their cloak to reveal… a giant walking banana. The audience erupted in a mix of laughter and applause, recognizing the sheer audacity and absurdity of such a costume. The banana wiggled its peel suggestively and performed an impromptu tap dance routine, much to everyone’s delight.

Glarb, overcome with emotion (and possibly a bit of leakage), declared the banana the winner of the Intergalactic Cosplay Contest. X5-42 beeped enthusiastically, its circuits barely containing its joy at witnessing such a spectacle. Dave shrugged, figuring he’d seen stranger things during his brief stint in outer space.

And so, amidst cheers and confetti made from recycled starlight, the giant walking banana took its place in the annals of Zyxel-9’s history as the most unforgettable champion of the Intergalactic Cosplay Contest. As for Zork and the other contestants, they returned to their corners of the universe, already plotting their next bizarre disguises for the following year’s contest.

And thus concludes another ordinary day on Zyxel-9, where the extraordinary was just a costume change away and reality was always dressed in its most improbable attire.