COVID 19 Update – mold

(originally posted July 30, 2020)

Everyone knows the story of how penicillin was discovered. For those of you who aren’t everyone, don’t get down on yourself, more people aren’t everyone than you’d think, let me recap. Back in 1928 Sir Alexander Fleming, returning from a family vacation, saw that a sample of staphylococcus bacteria he had left lying around had been killed when some of the mold he had invented fell into the dish. Thus was born the world’s first antibiotic and, through the hard work and dedication of numerous other scientists throughout the following decades, millions of lives were saved.

But at what cost?

I have yet to find out what Mr. Fleming was up to inventing penicillium notatum in the first place. Like there wasn’t enough mold knocking about the planet as is.

Let’s be clear, mold is bad stuff.  Some mold causes allergic reactions and respiratory problems while other molds also produce mycotoxins that can pose serious health risks, including neurological problems and in some cases, death.

And on top of all that? It makes things slimy. If you go to make yourself a sandwich and the meat is all shiny and slippery I can guarantee you that, dollars to donuts, mold is involved.

And we want to celebrate a man who invented another mold?! I don’t have any facts to support me on this, but I’ll wager that last week when I had to toss out that roast beef sandwich, which took me no less than ten minutes to make, that Sir Alexander’s mold was probably the culprit. The damn thing was bristling with spores.

A few million lives saved and we’re all supposed to just gloss over this?

As I said before, nobody has ever asked him why he was fooling around with molds in the first place. Clearly the fact that it ended up killing bacteria was just a crazy coincidence. If that’s the case, what did he originally plan to do with this new mold, outside of fucking up my sandwiches 92 years in the future?

And where the hell was he vacationing? I’m the only one who finds that suspicious? One minute he’s ass-deep in mold research and then suddenly he’s conveniently off jet skiing in the Caribbean?

Yes, jet skiing in 1928. It’s common knowledge that scientists have all the cool shit way before we get a hold of it.

It’s all very fishy.

All I’m saying is that you have to keep a close eye on scientists and especially ones that decide to work with molds. Molds, fungi, bacteria. Anything you can’t see with the human eye. We’re basically just taking their word for most of what they’re doing. Crashing around wearing white coats and filling up beakers and test tubes all day. And if you ask them what they are doing they just look at you and say “You wouldn’t understand. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a vacation to go on.”

I’m guessing this damn COVID virus was created under similar shady circumstances.

I bet the guy who invented it is named Arex Freming.