Dear Derrell (from Stacy’s dog)

Dear Derrell;

I couldn’t help but hear your prior comments regarding me the last time you were at the house, how I “got it going on”, our hearing is four times that of a human, both a gift and curse, and at first I thought I’d just let it go. However, after seeing my owner pen you a letter I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring as well.

While I don’t like to tell tales, the truth is that while he was busy scribbling away, I was under the table licking peanut butter off his balls. Our sense of smell is 10,000 times that of a human, so I hope he appreciated it. On the other hand/paw, our sense of taste is only one-sixth your, so I guess it evens out. Anyway, I like peanut butter so it was a win-win. Man’s best friend and all.

My problem is that it’s a very one-way relationship. I was wondering what your feelings were concerning quid pro quo.

And by that I mean licking peanut butter off my balls if I did the same for you.

Thought I’d run it by you. Let me know your thoughts on the matter.

Sincerely,

Stacy’s very good dog