Dear Reader

Clearly the recent interactions between Stacy and Derrell were brilliant and could be part of a series of letters that continues from now until 2020.

But that’s not how I roll.

Having said that, I just want to be clear that if I wanted to I could have taken these two characters and made them beloved literary figures that your children’s children would have read about.

Don’t believe me?

Ok, the next letter would have been from Stacy’s dad to Derrell. It would have been loaded with homosexual subtext (something about a half shirt) and mentioned how the dad shared an affinity for power tool metaphors.

See? Right there you’re off and imagining what he would have said.

The next letter?

It would have come from Stacy’s dog, although I would have wrestled with making the entire letter nothing but “woof woof woof woof” (funny right?) or a treatise on how licking peanut butter off of private parts is a two-way street. Either way… gold.

My point is, the possibilities were endless and with your warped imagination you would have enjoyed every installment.

And yet I chose to walk away.

Why?

Because it’s not how I roll.

Sincerely,

Lance