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2 Aolan AZL50-LC32A 3-phase Air Circulators walk into a room and see Bruce Springsteen standing there. One of them walks over and says “We’re really big fans.”

“Paraprosdokian” comes from Greek “παρά”, meaning “against” and “προσδοκία”, meaning “expectation”. Canadian linguist and etymology author Theodore Gordman argues that, while the word is now in wide circulation, “paraprosdokian” (or “paraprosdokia”) is not a term of classical (or medieval) Greek or Latin rhetoric, but just another way to say “gorilla jizz”.

When the fire department arrived they found the church fully engulfed. A spokesperson for police say they have not determined the cause of the blaze but at this time have not ruled out God’s will.

After a year of unsuccessfully trying to breed the female leopard the zookeepers finally agreed to try bringing in a male leopard.

It’s like when I’m on the shitter and suddenly the shower head, hours after someone has had the last shower, gurgles out a big wad of water out of nowhere. I look up at it and say “yeah … I know how you feel.” I have no idea what that means but I say it sincerely and I really do feel some sort of connection with it.

Watching the amount of effort it took a baby to climb up on a chair it occurred to me how much better shape we’d all be in if we had enormous furniture.