fuck Little People

(Originally posted 6/10/2012. 10 years have passed and we’re still being subjected to the same stupid woke shit. In fairness, I did post a retraction of sorts a few months later. Read that here.)

So let me get this straight. The Little People of America, a non-profit group that apparently isn’t satisfied by the fact that we no longer hurl baby midgets off cliffs as soon as we see they aren’t going to end up taller than three feet tall, are upset because the movie Snow White and the Huntsman decided to use normal-sized actors to play dwarfs instead of ‘little people.’ Are you fucking kidding me?

Maybe, just maybe, the director wanted to portray the mythical dwarfs as noble, normal creatures instead of big-headed, gnarly-handed midgets who can’t run for more than two feet before they either fall over or have everyone in the theater wondering when the fuck they are going to fall over! It’s like fat people getting upset when they don’t cast any chubby elves! Dwarfs and elves and goblins and all that shit are fantasy, you can’t get bent out of shape because a movie chooses to portray them how they want.

Especially midgets. I think everyone has been pretty tolerant as you can’t turn the channels without stumbling on one on a TV show these days. Obviously there is a time and place for ‘little people’ but enough is enough. I’m sick of having to sit through shows staring at their tiny hands and bowed legs and pretending that it doesn’t creep me out. Now they’re going to get their tiny briefs in a twist because they couldn’t waddle their way into a fantasy movie and fuck it up for everybody?

I know when everyone was enjoying J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings book nobody was imagining Warwick Davis crashing around trying to hold a fucking sword. NOBODY! Warwick Davis can’t play Grimli, he can barely fucking run let alone kill an orc!

Honestly, Peter Dinklage should be happy he has a career in Hollywood instead of doing three shows a day in a traveling carnival somewhere in Eastern Europe.

The (tiny) balls on these guys!