getting the band together

They made a promise, more sacred than any contract they would sign later in their lives, to form a band.

They made a solemn promise to each other, as solemn as a group of eight year olds can be, to make all their birthday gifts instruments that year and they promised to learn how to play them.

There is an unwritten law in music that the goofiest-looking member of a band has to play bass, so they briefly considered forming a band with four bass players.

One of the band members had picked up the nickname Lumpy, given to him by one of the bullies at their school, but they all refused to call him that. But he did end up becoming the bass player.

They initially agreed to call themselves The Pussy Express, hoping to name their first album All Aboard. They even created the album cover before they even knew what songs would be included on it. A train with the face of a cat.

None of their parents were wealthy so they started playing with less than ideal instrumentation. The drummer had only a snare and two pencils. The bass was a second-hand standing bass that towered a foot higher than the boy playing it. They had one guitar with only three strings and a beat-up ukulele.

But they rocked right out of the gate.

This despite a dizzying number of off-putting physical shortcomings. In no particular order; a lazy eye, a harelip, a unibrow and scoliosis… and that was just Lumpy.

Another had a neck like a swan. This sounds nice, even beautiful,  but you’re not picturing two additional feet of neck on a person. When he swiveled it 180 degrees to look at you it was downright terrifying.

And halitosis? They had it in spades. Each one worse than the next. To say nothing of the acne. Oceans of it split evenly between them.

Why do I mention this?

Because they later became The Beatles. That’s right, The Beatles.

Maybe you’ve heard of them?

Hmmm?

Maybe you’ve heard Let It Be? Hey Jude? How about Crazy Train? Karma Chameleon ring any bells?

Inspired much?

You’re welcome.