As close to an honest story as I'm capable of. #flashfiction #shortstory https://t.co/wlp2YyEJw3 https://t.co/blT4yyxljz (20 hours ago)

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Dec
29

Gillette’s red pill

There is the part in The Truman Show where Jim Carrey’s character sees a lighting fixture fall from the sky. It makes no sense to him, looking up into the clear sky, where it came from or how it could have fallen from out of nowhere. While it wasn’t exactly where he put the pieces together that everything around him was a fraud it did start him thinking.

I have an ongoing similar event going on that I want to share. It’s not that I’m under the belief that my life is being broadcast as a TV show… that’s crazy talk. It just has me thinking.

See, I have this can of shaving cream I’ve been using. Gillette Series Ultra Moisturizing Gel. The 7 oz. can. It started off heavy and full as is to be expected. Then as I used it day after day it got lighter and lighter until it got so light that every time I used it I was expecting it to run out. But no, there was always enough left for one more shave.

That was 2 years ago.

Every morning there is enough for 1 more shave.

I checked to make sure that my bathroom had no two-way mirrors. I examined the can to see if there was any way to add additional gel. I tried to come up with suspects who would want to play such an elaborate yet trivial prank on me.

Nothing.

Just the morning ritual of me picking up the can, pressing the top and receiving the necessary amount of gel to complete the shaving transaction.

Now some of you might ask why I don’t find some heavy object and position the can just so as to allow the heavy object to press down on the little button and see if it is possible to either use up the supply of gel or cover my entire neighborhood to a depth of a foot in it. That’s the creepy part.

I don’t dare do it.

Somehow I think this shaving gel thing is a glitch somewhere. Of all the things that work ok in my life, both emotional and mechanical, I’d hate to irk whatever or whomever is responsible for this little snafu.

So every morning I stand in the shower and wonder if this is the morning that my gel runs out. It’s a mix of dread and excitement. I often don’t even pay attention to where I’ve set the knob that controls the temperature of the water. However the water feels against my skin is really just my body’s opinion about hot or cold after all.

About a year ago I bought another can of gel as a contingency plan against the inevitability (?) of running out. I decided to stay Gillette but I must confess I did change to Fusion Hydra Gel. It was well past the time where it could have had any impact on the situation I find myself in now, the original can had definitely already long past the 7 oz. barrier, but I still wonder about the implications.

If you don’t mind I’d prefer you keep this little story to yourself. If I were the guy in The Matrix I would have without hesitation taken the blue pill.

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