motivelessness

mo·tive   /ˈmōdiv/   noun   something that causes us to act or behave in order to reach a goal or desired endpoint. a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious.

There are a lot of trends in meditation these days. Mindfulness springs to mind. For those of you not currently practicing mindfulness, you filthy barbarians, it means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens. To be in a mindful state is to be both focused and relaxed.

That is the point of it.

That is the goal.

That is your motive behind maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts.

Mindfulness might be good enough for most folks, but not this guy. I needed to find what lies beyond mindfulness.

Motivelessness.

Motivelessness is mindfulness without trying to be mindful. Without trying at all. Completely next-level shit.

How do you start? How do you start trying to do something when the very act of starting it violates the tenets of motivelessness? Once you become aware of your motive, once you acknowledge it, even on a sub-conscious level, it becomes impossible to attain the lofty state of motivelessness.

Thinking of trying to hide it behind some other cause? Trying some intellectual slight-of-hand? Backing into it perhaps?

Think again.

The definition of motive not only includes “a reason for doing something”, but goes on to specifically state “especially one that is hidden.”

Coincidence? I think not. It’s like the word knew ahead of time that someone was going to try to achieve motivelessness and it was going to make absolutely certain that the English language was going to have none of it.

Have you ever heard the Carl Sagan speech Pale Blue Dot? “There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

Well said Carl.

Except that you should have added “And nobody on that pale blue dot can ever achieve motivelessness.”

Science is having a hard enough time trying to get their heads around consciousness, imagine how hard it will be to study that which appears unstudiable.

And yet…

impossibly…

and fairly recently…

I attained motivelessness.

I can’t tell you how.

I can’t even tell you when.

I’m not sure myself. It’s such a fragile state that I fear that I might retroactively fuck it up if I think about it too much.

I just know I did and I will never be the same.

Nor will the pale blue dot…

except for everyone on it but her.