Lance’s Substack: the eggpiphany https://t.co/Hm8Kol8Y7g (4 hours ago)

lastes news&updates

Mar
20

giving a crap

(originally posted 1/24/2017)   Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. -Arthur C. Clarke   That’s the quote that was running through my head as I flushed. This porcelain portal that whisks away the poop. I can’t think of a single gadget that mankind has come up with that smacks of sorcery more than […]

Mar
19

milkness

(originally posted 1/19/2019)   It’s the little things. Little things that keep friends together and little things that tear relationships apart. Relationships like the one between Mike and Jerry. Roommates for two years, Jerry was almost finished packing up. Here’s what happened; three weeks ago they had been at a bar having a few drinks […]

Mar
18

more climbers killed… yawn

(originally posted 3/19/2016)   I’m getting just a bit sick of hearing about climbers getting killed on Everest. Why the fuck are they there to begin with? Ok, that’s not fair. Let me back up and think about this a second. I’m not mad that they are there. If they want to climb up a […]

Mar
17

animal testing

The crowd outside the pharmaceutical company milled around, unsure what their next step was. They had been marching back and forth in front of the facility waving signs, the largest of which read “Animal testing doesn’t actually teach us anything. It sure as heck doesn’t teach them anything, either.” -Shenita Etwaroo, in protest of the […]

Mar
16

99 problems but morality ain’t one

(Originally appeared in Section 8 Magazine 2/22/2015)   While everyone enjoys a good hug, we all have to be envious of the way warm toast embraces butter. It’s just the nature of both parties involved. To understand our feelings of envy, I think it’s important to come up with a completely fabricated set of circumstances […]

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Publication date: May 2012
Category: Humor

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Results May Vary: The Lance Manion Blogs

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Publication date: May 2012
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