Jun
21
(from The Song Between Her Legs) What is it that makes a dog suddenly start licking its bunghole? Is it the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? The home furniture place near me closed yesterday. I didn’t realize how serious they were about their liquidation sale until I heard that at the end […]
Jun
20
(from The Song Between Her Legs) I picture a dark raincloud coming over the mountain and looking at the parched plains lustily and saying “Where do you want it?” The defense attorney finished his arguments by saying “Don’t judge lest you yourself be judged.” The judge then said “Fine, but just so you know… […]
Jun
19
(from The Song Between Her Legs) When someone asks you to pick a number between 1 and 10, don’t pick 1. Or 10. Do I even have to explain it? Nobody wants you picking 1 or 10. You’re going to end up making people ask you to pick a number between 2 and 9. […]
Jun
18
(from The Song Between Her Legs) I’ve never written to be popular or been popular. Whenever I’m having a conversation with someone and they blink I immediately think to myself “They just spread a mixture of oils and mucous secretions across the surface of their eyes to keep them from drying out.” Makes it […]
Jun
17
(from the book The Song Between Her Legs) While I appreciate the fact that the folks at Hallmark Cards went to the trouble of exhuming the two ladies working at the checkout, and will no doubt return them to their graves after the holiday rush is over, there to wait until next season’s shopping […]
