I don’t know what the first movie to feature ‘bloopers’ at the end of it was, but I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that their intentions were pure; show some of the more humorous flubs. Everyone enjoys a little peek behind the camera.
Since then the ‘blooper reel’ has become painful to watch. Knowing that potentially every screw-up would end up being shown to an audience has changed everything. Now you have actors and actresses hamming it up every time they make a mistake. Worst of all are the extras who see this as a way to get more screen time, so they guffaw away at the slightest provocation. Sucking up to whatever ‘star’ is sitting in front of them. Truly an existential nightmare for everyone involved, particularly those trapped in a theater and subjected to them.
In reality, all these ‘bloopers’ are doing is showing an actor being bad at their job. Failing. What I want to see is the ‘blooper reel’ of a surgeon who loses someone on the table. Or if I can’t have that, and because I just used the word existential, at the very least I’d like to see some of Nietzche’s ‘bloopers’. (Warning: If you are not intimately familiar with ol’ Friedrich’s work you might want to give this one a miss)
“There are no beautiful surfaces without a terrible depth. Does that include big titties you think?” (laughter)
“Generally speaking, punishment makes men hard… (laughter) ok, there has to be a better way to say that.”
“What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome. Ok, so good, bad and happiness go into a bar…” (laughter)
“I obviously do everything to be “hard to understand” myself. Why am I always trying to make myself hard?” (laughter)
“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters. Well, the one that he’s not using to jerk it.” (laughter)
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. At what point do I just say ‘women’ instead of ‘you’? Am I right guys?” (laughter)
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way… that must be the highway.” (laughter)
“The real world is much smaller than the imaginary… but still bigger than your dick. Zing!” (laughter)
“But I need solitude–which is to say, recovery, return to myself, the breath of a free, light, playful air. Particularly after freeing some nasty playful air.” (laughter)
“Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell. There I go again… why use thereto there? No wonder nobody reads my shit.” (laughter)
“Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their bloopers. At least until we find a way to capture them on film.” (what’s film?)
For the record, these aren’t supposed to be ‘classically funny’. They’re supposed to be ‘existentially funny.’
If you were an extra you’d be laughing your balls off either way.
“The worst readers are those who behave like plundering troops: they take away a few things they can use, dirty and confound the remainder, and revile the whole.”
– Friedrich Nietzche
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