pretty little sociopath

A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and a lack of conscience.

Yep. That pretty much sums her up.

I can’t say definitively that she treats all things with the same callous disregard she shows interpersonal relationships, but I have my doubts. For all I know a beautiful sunrise takes her breath away and she feels moved to her very core.

On the other hand, my suspicion is that when she looks at it she gives the impression she is moved, but instead is wondering how much cooler stars in other galaxies are and asking herself why she is stuck looking at this lame one. This despite sun worship playing a part in Zoroastrianism, Mithraism, Roman religion, Hinduism, Buddhism, and among the Druids of England, the Aztecs of Mexico, the Incas of Peru, and many Native Americans.  It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if our sun begins to resent her attitude and refuses to rise if she’s looking at the horizon. Eventually I can see the bad blood leading to a point where the sun won’t come up at all if she’s on the side of the Earth facing it.

I can see a scenario where we, humankind, as monotheistic as we are now, are forced to fly her to the dark side of the moon and drop her there to forestall the eventual freezing of the planet. A difficult decision agreed, but if it’s her or half the world plunged into endless darkness and ice… she has got to go.

Of course, I don’t think anyone will be surprised when a few months later powerful telescopes see her trudging back to the light side of the moon. Seemingly impossible, given she was only given a few hours of air, but I’m telling you, somehow she’d figure out a way to not need to breathe or eat and even endure the coldness of space, the sleeves of her spacesuit cut off and fashionably sporting what appears to be tinfoil Daisy Dukes.

Thousands of teenage male wannabe-astronomers looking out of their bedroom windows at night and whacking off to her.

I can almost see her plodding along, occasionally glancing up at Earth as if to say “I can’t be killed bitches.”

Because she can’t.

Maybe that’s why I think she’s a sociopath.

Maybe that’s just my bias speaking.

On the bright side, I’m pretty sure that Peter Parker was a pretty dull guy until he got bit by the radioactive spider. Then he gets super powers and all of a sudden he’s the wittiest guy around. Apparently with great power comes great quips. Perhaps when she truly internalizes that she’s unkillable she’ll become funnier.

Although I have to admit she’s pretty funny right now.

Late at night I can still hear her laugh. Her slow bouncy footsteps bringing her closer and closer to getting back into the light.

Epilogue: Who the fucks adds an epilogue to such a short story? Perhaps she’s not the only sociopath in this narrative. Anyway, about that epilogue… what I didn’t mention is that she is constantly cracking her knuckles because someone told her that the sound of the cracking is gases in the joint that build up and she doesn’t want her hands to swell and eventually blow up. Fingers flying everywhere, leaving her with two stumps.

Not sure this is particularly relevant to the story, but there you are.