relationships

He eats the whole peanut. Shell and all.

You could hypothesize that he worries about having the dexterity to break the shell and remove the nuts without dropping them or you could argue that he believes that there is some nutritional value in consuming the shell. Either way, eyebrows are typically raised as he hurls the entire peanut into his mouth.

She eats the whole Star Burst. Wrapper and all.

You could hypothesize that she worries about having the dexterity to open the wrapper and remove the candy without dropping it or you could argue that she believes that there is some nutritional value in consuming the wrapper. Either way, eyebrows are typically raised as she hurls the entire Star Burst into her mouth.

They met at a party recently. A party that had a variety snacks scattered about the room, amongst them both peanuts and Star Burst. Which should tell you all you need to know about the party.

They immediately hit it off and soon were deep in conversation. A conversation that had them touching on a number of topics critical to their shared perceptions of compatibility. Each and every one of them leading them to believe that this chance meeting had the real possibility of leading to a relationship between them.

Love. Sex. Religion. Politics. Favorite band. Favorite author.

“Do you drink?”

“Do you smoke?”

One after another the boxes were ticked off.

They began to stand a bit closer. Their voices becoming a little quieter and intimate. “She smells great” he thought to himself. “He smells great” she thought to herself.  “I love her dress” he thought to himself. “I love his shirt” she thought to herself.

“What a smile.”

And then he reached over to the basket of peanuts and took a few. At the same time she leaned over and took a Star Burst from a candy dish.

He casually ate a whole peanut and she casually ate a whole Star Burst.

“What the fuck did I just witness?” they both thought to themselves. “Who the fuck does that?!”

They both smiled awkwardly, made very similar excuses and walked away from each other.

And that was that.