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Feb
4

Sprint presents the Jonathan Martin/Ritchie Incognito texts

Aren’t those commercials where James Earl Jones and Malcolm McDonald read texts aloud adorable? I was thinking it would be awesome if they read the texts between ex-Dolphins Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito. (The following has to be read in their voices or don’t bother)

 

James Earl Jones: I ended up making a 3 am ihop run solo haha

 

Malcolm McDonald: Hahahaha ha U fat fuck. I got those chicks from last night lined up. Lets go eat with them and bang their mouths

 

James: Nah I’m tired bro I’m just gonna kick it

 

Malcolm: U fucking mulatto liberal bitch. Take a shower and get ur ass down here.

 

James: I might just lay low with this chick tonight. Thursdays are pretty weak anyways

 

Malcolm: Cray cray I wanna slay pussssssy. These bitches are ready

 

James: I’m staying in man. My liver can’t take anymore abuse

 

Malcolm: That’s the gayest shit I’ve ever heard. U really are a faggot. Tell ur squirting sister I said hi

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