Terry & Terri

(originally posted 10/6/2020)

“Then wake her up” bellowed the voice on the other end of the line.

Folks on the Terre Haute, Indiana Chamber of Commerce were unaccustomed to being bellowed at, let alone during the hour between noon and one o’clock. That is lunchtime. What could be so important as to interrupt lunch?

The bellower on the other end of the line was the owner of a company in Terre Haute that leased timeshares in the city.

“This is the third straight day that my website has had over thirty hits. Thirty! From all over the Midwest. We’re trending for heaven’s sake!” he continued as attempts were made to rouse the Director of Membership Development and Communications. When she finally made it to the phone she’d missed most of the pertinent bellowing.

“So tell me again” she began, “What is it you need from me?”

“Have you ever heard of Terri Haut?” the voice inquired.

“I am the Director of Membership Development and Communications at the Terre Haute Chamber of Commerce, of course I’ve heard of Terre Haute” she said rather icily.

“Not Terre Haute, Terri Haut. Apparently she’s a prostitute who works the truckstops on Interstate 70.”

“No, I’m afraid I don’t. This no doubt comes as a complete and total surprise to you, given how active the local sex trade community is in the Chamber of Commerce.”

Ignoring her sarcasm he retorted “Well you should! She and her husband could be a goldmine for us.”

The Director of Membership Development and Communications bristled at the thought of somehow being associated with a known prostitute. “Listen here, I’m not sure why you think I’d be interested in the exploits of a prostitute, but I can assure you…” and with that the voice on the phone cut her off. “It’s not about her being a prostitute. It’s about a new venture that she and her husband Terry have started.”

“Terri’s husband?” she asked.

“Yes. Terry. Terri’s husband Terry” he replied.

There was a pause to let that sink in.

“Terri Haut… who lives in Terre Haute and is married to Terry Haut”, said in a way that reflected that it was perhaps not entirely sunk in.

The voice on the phone continued. “They’ve turned their doublewide into a museum.”

“This better not be a museum of prostitution” warned the Director of Membership Development and Communications for the Terre Haute Chamber of Commerce.

“No such worries, this is strictly not-prostitutional” he assured her.

“And you say that this is generating interest from all over?” she asked.

“You bet.”

“So what is it a museum of?” she asked.

“Are you sitting down? It’s actually genius” bellowed the man, in a much more positive bellow than previously. More of a good-natured roar if truth be told. After spending a moment collecting himself, he certainly couldn’t bellow and/or roar the entire concept, he went on. “It’s a museum celebrating women that have been the inspiration for multiple famous songs.”

“You don’t say” was all she could say.

“Yep. Brilliant if you ask me. Celebrating the muses behind the songs. Look what the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame did for Cleveland. We have to jump in and lend a hand.”

“How do they have a museum in a doublewide though?” the Director of Membership Development and Communications for the Terre Haute Chamber of Commerce inquired.

“Well” he said, “There are only four inductees.”

“Four?” She sounded somewhat deflated.

“Yep. I guess it’s pretty rare to be the inspiration for two famous songs. Rosanna Arquette, Pattie Boyd, Marianne Faithful and Sarah Barg. Terri says that she wants to have a bust made of each. Along with a mold of their private parts.”

“Which Terri said that? The prostitute?” she asked, unable to hear the difference in the names.

“They’re both prostitutes.”

“Of course they are…” she said with a sigh. Her eyes slowly closed and her shoulders slumped forward.

Almost as an afterthought he added “Or were you talking about the inductees?”

“They’re all prostitutes.”

“We’re all prostitutes” he replied.