the eclipse

(originally posted 8/21/2017, something I wrote for the last eclipse))

For some people, this is a big day. In honor of the eclipse I thought I’d share my horrible thought of the day. Don’t kid yourself, I have a horrible thought every day but I rarely share them. Typically, I have a number of horrible thoughts. Sometimes in bunches, sometimes spread horribly throughout the day.

After a while the unrelenting torrent of horrible thoughts caused me to think I might need some sort of psychiatric help so I went to a shrink. I found out that eventually being on the receiving end of my unrelenting torrent of horrible thoughts caused him to go to a shrink. I found out the name of the shrink and started going to him as well. After about the third session with the new guy I told him why I was there and the look on his face was priceless.

And horrible.

The idea that two psychiatrists were getting together to talk about me and my horrible thoughts was about the greatest thing I could imagine. Clearly I was cured and didn’t need further help.

Of course, now that I’ve built my horrible thoughts into something legendary in your head I almost hesitate to offer up the horrible thought I had today because on the horribleness index it barely registers but in the spirit of all things eclipsical I feel obliged to offer it up.

So here it is…

Somewhere there are people who went blind looking at the last eclipse so it follows that many them will be outside during today’s eclipse. How funny would it be if one of their seeing eye dogs happened to look up at the eclipse and go blind?

Now before you go getting all high and mighty on me, roll it around your mind for a minute. A blind dog leading a blind man through a crowd of people watching the eclipse. Just how pissed at the sun would the blind man be?

Ok… so maybe funny isn’t the word. Ironic doesn’t do it but I doubt you tilted your head back and let loose with a laugh.

Perhaps I should have gone with the word amusing over funny.

Remember that the next time you want to hear someone’s horrible thought.