May
25
the search
(originally posted 9/28/2014)
His heart was aching.
A veteran of the Long Branch Search and Recovery Team, he knew when things were moving from the former to the latter.
She sat next to him and he could tell that she didn’t want to give up hope. But he suspected that she knew as well.
There’s always that window where there was still a happy ending to be had. Some scenario where good news could suddenly jump out when least expected. He’d never seen it himself but he had heard stories.
That’s why you worked so hard. That’s why you never allowed yourself to give up.
Even when the shadows start to stretch and hope begins to become harder to come by.
Is it the shadows that stretch or is it the truth or does one lead to the other or the other way around? Those are the kind of games you play in your head as you try to stay focused on the task.
He wondered if she expected a happy ending. Obviously he had gotten into this line of work to try and be a hero now and then, but it always seemed that the endless frailties of the flesh prevented him from playing the role with any frequency.
You take a man in his element and he is full to bursting with life. Change some of the parameters of the situation and he becomes an empty vessel. A shell.
People often walk along the beach collecting shells.
Not those kinds of shells.
Trying to pass more time he wonders if it was the thrill of the hunt that got him into this to begin with. He remembers early on the blood rushing through his veins. Almost dizzy with anticipation.
Then there were so many disappointments that seemed to sap the initial excitement and turn the whole thing into another job.
Another way to pass the time.
Which was what he was doing now.
As a veteran of the Long Branch Search and Recovery Team he knew that time runs out all too fast. When people least expect it.
Least of all him.
Their session almost over, he struggles for the words that will make it appear that all hope is not lost. The shrink leans forward to grab her appointment book signifying that it’s time to once again decide if there should be another attempt or if they can finally call off the search.
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