the wolf (what’s your function)

(originally posted 3/1/2022)

Ok, let’s dive right into it. No time for mucking about with this one. With these types of stories it’s best to treat it like you’re pulling off a band-aid.

He had a dream, alright? It was just a dream. Nothing to get into a twist about.

Something about aliens.

-Dreaming of UFOs or being threatened by aliens portrays how you are exploring aspects of yourself, which you find difficult to ‘identify with.’-

They come down from the sky with a lot of fanfare, issuing vague threats about total annihilation and whatnot. They have one simple demand.

More of a request actually. No, actually more of a deal they wanted to offer humanity.

They would agree not to blow up the planet if one of the humans would dance for them.

Obviously it wasn’t as simple as that, that dream would be such a yawner that nobody would even remember it. No, in this dream it had to be him dancing for the aliens. To the tune of their choosing.

And, and this was the most important part (although two ands in a row seems like it’s violating about a dozen rules of the English language), the aliens had to believe it.

‘It’ being the dance.

If there was a hint of insincerity or if he introduced the tiniest bit of irony the planet would be doomed. He would have to move them with his dance.

-When you see yourself dancing in a dream, then it means that you are expressing yourself to the fullest.-

The song was Hungry like the Wolf.

-Dreaming of being hungry can symbolize a lack of fulfillment.-

-Wolves in dreams invite us to claim back our own power, to run freely and live our most authentic life possible, without fear, without shackles, without shame.-

So he danced. He danced like he’d never danced before, without fear, without shackles, without shame, and he saved the planet.

There. Are you happy?

It was only a dream. It didn’t mean anything. He’s a welder for fuck’s sake. A dirt-under-the-fingernails type. In real life he can’t dance and hates Duran Duran. Especially Hungry like the Wolf.

Well, unless it comes on the radio when he’s driving alone and he’s sure nobody is looking. Then he cranks it the fuck up.

As a welder, he’d also be inclined to capitalize ‘like’ in the title of Hungry like the Wolf. Which is really ironic because when he was a kid he used to dance his ass off whenever Conjunction Junction came on during Saturday morning cartoons, but as a conjunction, a word used to connect sentences or to coordinate words in the same sentence, ‘like’ is not capitalized.

To be honest, I think everyone involved would have been more comfortable with that being the song in his dream.

Fuckin’ dreams…