the world is your ashtray

Let me just say right off the bat that if you smoke in the car and throw your cigarette butt out your window when you’re done with it I hate you.

Really.

I sincerely hope that you get some sort of cancer that rots your face off. Then I hope you get put in a treatment facility that has a deranged orderly that starts each day by pinning you down and fucking you right in the rotting holes in your jaw.

Isn’t that a bit much?

Not at all.

If you smoke then you are already a retard. Somewhere along the line you caved in to the billions of advertising dollars the tobacco industry spends each year to have cowboys and models sell their killer product. 400,000 people a year die in  the United Sates from tobacco. I’m not good at math but I believe that in 2 more years more people will have been killed by cigarettes than have ever lived on this planet.

Or something like that … again, I’m not too good at math.

And to call smokers retards is actually unfair to retarded people. When was the last time you saw a retarded person smoking? Even retards know how retarded it is to smoke.

Do I wish all smokers would get cancer and die? Of course not. I don’t need to. Most of them are already going to get cancer and die painfully on their own.

It’s the ones that throw their butts out of their cars I hate. Obviously they have no respect for their own bodies but to treat the entire world as their ashtray drives me crazy. Of all the things to throw out of a car window, why would you choose a cigarette butt? Not only are they completely not biodegradable but they couldn’t be less eco-friendly if they tried. In billions of years when the dinosaurs have once again risen to become masters of the planet and all traces of our human civilization have long since disappeared they (the dinosaurs) will be flicking around these little butts with their armored feet and spiked tails wondering what the fuck they are.

Where do these loser fuckfaces (smokers who throw butts out their car windows, not dinosaurs) think their smoldering butts are going to go? Do they believe that a little fairy with a wet hacking cough will come out each night and collect all the butts thrown out of cars windows all over the country? The truth is that MILLIONS of cigarette butts are going to get tossed out of car windows by thousands of scumbags each day and then they are going to sit there making everything look as shitty as the smoker’s lungs.

If you buy a pack of cigarettes there should be police who follow you out to your car and if your ashtray isn’t filled with butts they should have the right to immediately pistol-whip you.

You stupid fucking oblivious self-absorbed dickholes! Enough with the cigarettes, just stick a gun in your mouth, blow off your empty head and do us all a favor and get it over with already.

If you are a smoker who throws your butts out the window and you’re offended by my comments I couldn’t be happier. I hate you. I hope the wind takes your next butt and blows it right back into your eyeball and causes you to plow headfirst into another shithead who throws his/her butts out the window and the 2 of you pass in the air after going through your respective windshields on the way to hideous landings on jagged rocks before sliding back into the path of oncoming trucks that drive over your twitching bodies.