Thunder: A Nap Lapkin Story (part 2 of 6)

The next morning Nap was in for a surprise as he pulled up to Agent Brook’s hotel. Out she walked in a short skirt and hopped into his vehicle.

“Sam?” he inquired.

She smiled. “Short for Samantha.” She was pleased that he seems to be very interested in the fact that she wasn’t a man. She thought that was a good start.

As he pulled away he turned to her and said “Let’s get one thing perfectly clear…”

She braced for the usual conversation about interacting with the opposite sex in the workplace and respecting boundaries.

“First, women on a mat doing yoga can do infinitely more sexy things than on a stripper pole.”

This was not what Agent Brook was expecting and her mouth fell open slightly.

Nap continued, “And second, a camel toe in yoga pants is infinitely hotter than just seeing a woman naked.”

His attention returned to the road, having clarified those two topics.

He was everything she had hoped for and more. Magnificent. Not a hair out of place.

Sam mulled it over and decided to put her cards on the table. “Damn” she replied, “So you’re saying I should have gone with yoga pants?” And with that she pulled her skirt up around her waist to reveal that she was not wearing any underwear.

Nap glanced over and then slowly brought the car to a halt on the side of the road.

“The second point is not a hard and fast rule. More of a guideline actually. It’s very situational. I’d like you to get out of the car and wait on the side of the road for a few minutes. Then I am going to pull up and you’re going to act like a hitchhiker.”

It was not a request. She pulled down her skirt and exited the vehicle.

Nap pulled away and then a few minutes later returned. He lowered the window and asked the attractive hitchhiker if she needed a ride. She answered to the affirmative and got into the car.

Meanwhile in an unnecessarily shadowy office in Washington, a man sat behind a large desk and wrestled with the reality that whenever any of his friends or co-workers thought about him, that thought, whatever it might be, was always prefaced by the word ‘meanwhile.’

Sam ended up with her front in the backseat and her backside in the front. When she was young she had a hamster. One day the hamster was the recipient of blunt force trauma, details of which are fuzzy at best, so much so that its eyes literally popped out of their sockets. It still walked around seemingly alright but its eyes were hanging on its cheeks.

She now knew what it felt like.

Moments after the encounter had come to its climax, she could have sworn she heard him say “You’re welcome.”