Touch of Gay

Here is Part 1 of today’s Facebook update. Stay with me on this. This is what I wrote, I wasn’t particularly happy with it but nobody really reads these anyway so who cares. The funny part is Part 2:

I’m sure you’ve seen those Touch of Grey commercials where there is a guy being interviewed and they’re looking him over and coming to a hiring conclusion based on the amount of grey in his hair. Involved in this discussion is a hot woman and she seems very interested in the man when he has just the right amount of grey. The commercial doesn’t come right out and say it but the inference is that if he is too old he won’t be able to get it up (no energy) but if he is too young that he’ll be unable to satisfy her (lack of experience). Once he finds that sweet spot of grey she gets a look on her face that can only be described as lusty. I mean, she looks like she’s in heat. Doesn’t matter that the man is married or not, it’s obvious that right after the interview he’s going to mount this woman right on her desk.

Fuck that. How dare Touch of Grey insinuate that a man without grey hair couldn’t handle a woman like that without encountering premature ejaculation issues. And the guy with a full head of white hair might also be packing Viagra so this bias whore better be ready if he suddenly feels that the moment is right. He will knock that fucking pants suit right off her.

Getting laid, much like getting a job, is tough enough without a hair-coloring product planting negative stereotypes in the minds of hot women. How dare you Touch of Grey. How dare you!

With me so far? Part 2. I wanted to add a picture to go along with the update I was going to post so I went to Ask.com and typed in ‘Touch of Grey pictures’. I was then given a bunch of options. What I almost didn’t notice was off to the side.

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Just For Men Touch Of Grey Commercial Pictures

Pictures of Male Body

Pictures of Older Men

Young Hung and Full

Hung like a Donkey

Pictures of Black Men

Boys Mastrabating

Free Guys Mastrabating

Pictures of People

Pictures of Guys

Men Bathroom Cams

WHAT THE FUCK?! It went from ‘Touch of Grey pictures’ to ‘Pictures of Male Body’ to ‘Young Hung and Full’???  Who the fuck types in ‘Young Hung and Full’ even if you’re looking for gay porn? Full of what?? And what is ‘Mastrabating’? Is it better than masturbating? Like a new level? And then, near the end it goes back to ‘Pictures of People’ innocently enough.

What the hell does Ask think of me? Of all of us?