Given that racism has been in the news so much lately I thought I’d take a deep breath and provide my opinion on the topics of race and race relations.
They are fucked.
Because we are fucked.
That’s all I got on the subject.
You know who I blame for this?
That asshole who just cut me off in traffic.
It doesn’t matter what sex, color, or religion he/she was, that’s the person I hate. Those people can’t drive for shit! They shouldn’t even be allowed on the road. If it was an expensive car it just shows that rich fuckers drive like they think they are better than everybody. If it was a piece of shit car it just shows why we shouldn’t let pieces of shit like that on the road. If it was a minivan it just shows that those fuckers are reproducing at an alarming rate. They probably need every seat and still have two little fuckers stacked in the back.
It’s like the dumb fuck in front of me at the supermarket. Damn I hate those people. Standing there in front of me when if I wouldn’t have spent so much time reading that random ethnic food label, the one designed to make people like me read it in supermarkets and thus make them end up behind someone with a full cart, I would have beaten this person with the full cart to the checkout and I wouldn’t have to be standing there waiting as they unload their hundreds of predictably stupid food items. It’s exactly the kind of fucking food I’d expect this cart-loader to eat. It’s a wonder their carts wheels didn’t snap off under the tremendous weight of stupid food. They are the reason none of the fucking carts work right and they always have a wheel that turns in the wrong direction and squeaks. If you think it’s an accident, think again. They know what they’re doing.
They always know what they’re doing.
It’s because they are on one hand brilliant and devious and on the other hand dumb as shit.
I should have won that raffle, not them. What the fuck are they going to do with two tickets to an Eagles game? They can’t appreciate football like I do so why did they even bother to buy the raffle ticket in the first place? They’re not fooling me, I know they don’t give a crap about cancer research. They just wanted to make sure I have to sit home on Sunday while they go down to the stadium and enjoy me not being there.
You can’t leave your house these days without seeing them running around like they own the place. Cutting me off in traffic and making me wait behind them at the grocery store and winning raffles and buying the last waffle cone at the ice cream shop.
And the look on their face as they ordered it!
You would have thought it was the last waffle cone on the planet. That after they received their stupid ice cream in it that there would be a worldwide announcement that all waffle cones had ceased to exist and it would be easier for everybody if nobody told their children that waffle cones had ever existed because the reminder of them is just too painful. The way that they smugly pretended not to even notice that they took the last waffle cone … the way they didn’t look back at me and inquire if I perhaps had driven all the way to the ice cream place just to get a fucking waffle cone and would I perhaps like the last one?
No, they just ordered it and paid for it and ate it and steadfastly refused to choke to death on the unnecessarily large amount of sprinkles that the counter person had added simply because everybody knows they are in cahoots with those people. It’s a big fucking conspiracy and you’re an idiot if you think otherwise.
Don’t you ever wonder why you never get enough sprinkles on your ice cream?
Wake the fuck up.
That person who just cut you off in traffic … they are to blame. Them and all those other people that look like them. Do you see it now? If it weren’t for them you wouldn’t have gotten cut off. It’s just simple logic. This isn’t some emotional conclusion, it’s a fact. If they hadn’t cut you off you wouldn’t have got cut off. What the world wants is for you to forget it. To move past it.
If you do, they win. And you can’t let them win. If you do then they win.
Today it’s sprinkles. Tomorrow they’re going to cancel your favorite TV show.
Those sitcom-canceling bastards.
Wait, is that a sprinkle on your top lip? You’re one of them.
I knew it. You’re fucking everywhere.