Sep
25
what’s so funny?
She is an electrician. He is a chef.
She is meticulous with a bit of free spirit mixed in. For example, she rewired the three rooms in their house that had two separate light switches, the kitchen, the living room and their bedroom, to only have one and thus prevent the scenario where flipping the switch up could result in the light being turned either on or off. For her, flipping a switch up means turning it on. Flipping it down turns it off. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.
Whether that’s an example of her being meticulous or free spirited I’m not quite sure.
As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity.
Let’s call the chef meticulous with a real focus on punctuality. I would say he is fastidious and punctual but I’m afraid you might not know what fastidious means and I don’t feel like explaining it. I won’t go into his signature dishes.
While his obsessive need to be on time appeals to her meticulous side, it drives her free spirited side crazy. It became a problem in their relationship. They say that when all you have is a hammer, you see every problem as a nail.
The same can be said for electricians apparently.
And as I walked on
Through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
After one too many incidents where he was yelling and screaming about her being late, she added a few things to the house the next time he was away attending one of his numerous culinary trade shows.
She began by installing a half dozen 100 watt 6 Volt Heavy duty emergency lighting units around the house. They were concealed behind the drywall and spring-loaded to pop out when triggered. She did the same with a number of red LED emergency strobe lights and a 110 decibel security alarm.
The real investment on her part was the used civil defense siren she purchased from the local fire department and then installed in their attic.
She rigged everything to be activated by the single press of a button that she carried around with her on her keychain.
Then she waited.
So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
A month later, conditions were ideal. They were supposed to leave at 7:30 to attend a social event. He was running late because of car trouble while returning from the gym. She made sure she was all dressed, make up applied and ready to go by 7:15. He jumped into the shower and then hurriedly began to get dressed.
At 7:30 she moved to the main circuit breaker panel in the basement.
At 7:31 she killed the power in the house and hit the button.
The effect far exceeded even her wildest aspirations. Terrified, he fled the house and never returned.
Ever.
She suspects he actually shit himself.
It was in that moment, for the first time in her life, that she appreciated what was so funny ‘bout peace, love and understanding.
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