where world’s collide

This one’s for the men.

While it may not come as a surprise to someone as worldly and wise as myself, unless you have travelled the globe there really isn’t a reason for the typical man to have come by this hard-earned knowledge.

“See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream.” – Ray Bradbury

That knowledge?

“To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” – Aldous Huxley

The vagina isn’t in the same place that it is for an American girl. It varies depending on the country of her origin.

Canadian girls? It sits a bit north.

Mexican girls? Down and to the left.

See what I mean?

Who knew?

“One must travel to learn.” – Mark Twain

There is nothing more embarrassing than to be in the throes of passionate lovemaking and suddenly realizing you don’t know where the hell her vagina is.

In the America’s a little feeling around will usually provide the much-needed information, but once you leave the continent, you’re on your own.

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” – Henry Miller

For example, Chinese women’s vagina is on the side of their head. Chinese men call it ‘the ol’ third ear.’ Which explains why you never see a bald Chinese woman. It also explains why they comb their hair so often.

In Russia? On the sole of one of their feet. You never know which.

Which makes it surprising that ballet is so popular over there. I guess some girls are a glutton for punishment.

Don’t believe me? Just think about it, have you ever seen a Russian girl wearing sandals? Maybe one, but never two.

Sandals, not Russian women.

And the answer is no, you haven’t.

In Madagascar? You don’t want to know. Trust me on that.

“The traveler sees what he sees, the tourists sees what he has come to see.” – G.K. Chesterton

Having been lucky enough to explore every corner of the world and, more importantly, been able to seduce a girl in every port, let me tell you that on the surface girls Norway and Sweden look very similar, but once the clothes are off and you’re headed to pound town, vaginal placement has a big impact on your overall sexual experience.

I won’t say which is which, but one girl has her vagina in the middle of her shoulder blades while the other’s is nestled between her milky bosom.

“Through we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is it bosom or bosoms?

If you’re waiting for me to tell you that in some places girls have four boobs, well that’s just dumb. No need to pack a bag. Now assholes on the other hand…

 “Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta